Last summer I met Maddie and her family, and I've never been so touched.
A "button" on a friend's blog has lead me down a path I did not know existed. It's a cross-country relationship with people who do not know me.
Welcome to the world of blogging.
The "are you a friend of Maddie" botton shows a picture of Maddie, a bright-eyed little girl in yellow wearing a grin that reminds me of my son when he was a baby. I probably could find a photograph of Will that mirrors Maddie's expression. After several visits to my friend's blog, I pressed that botton and arrived in California, where I read about Maddie on her website - http://friendsofmaddie.org/
It is an understatement to say I was shocked to learn she had died.
No one was home but me. For hours I sat right here and read. I read and read and read and I cried and cried and cried. I was stunned. That day and in the weeks that followed I physically mourned the death of Madeline Spohr.
It's been two years exactly since Madeline Spohr died from complications of a severe respiratory illness.
Her mother, Heather Spohr, and father, Mike Spohr, and baby sister, Annabel, live near Los Angeles.
Yes, I met them on the World Wide Web. Me and thousands of other readers daily follow their blog - http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/
The Spohrs were blogging before Maddie died and have continued, sharing their story along the way.
Isn't that why we all blog? To share a story, a piece of advice or an opinion? Theirs is a sad story, one that has affected me deeply. But it is also hopeful.
Daughter Annabel was born on Jan. 22, 2010, and within the past couple of months has started walking. By all accounts Annie appears healthy and is being raised by wonderful parents who just happen to have lost their first daughter ... parents who are trying to hold it together.
I have never commented on their posts but I think about them every day and especially today as they continue to grieve the loss of precious Maddie.
Maddie was born a day shy of 29 weeks on Nov. 11, 2007.
She spent 68 days in intensive care. Her premature condition left her lungs scarred.
In the days that have passed her family has raised money for the March of Dimes and also for "families of critically ill babies in an effort to help ease the transition into NICU life and to be be an ally until the end of their child's hospital stay," according to friendsofmaddie.org.
I invite you to meet the Spohrs.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Pot o' gold
LOL
Superhero son, 8, definitely has developed a sense of humor. The Old Man and I got a kick out of this. Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. If the boys come up with any good ones or are the recipients of any good ones, I'll post them here.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Donner Party, Women’s Lib and me
My fascination with the Donner Party began a couple of years ago after reading Ethan Rarick's novel "Desperate Passage: The Donner Party's Perilous Journey West." This book was given to me by a colleague who thought I might like it.
And like I did.
Since then I've been quietly drawn to this group of American pioneers who set out for California in a wagon train. Having had no memory of this event in U.S. history class, I became engrossed in the story of the Donner Party's ill-fated journey West, particularly the women and children. I mourned those who perished and rejoiced that anyone survived. And still I can’t get over the fact that this all happened in 1846-47 - less than 175 years ago! This is history, yet so near to us.
Earlier this year, via National Public Radio's Book Notes, I happened upon another book, which filled me with more information about the Donner Party, and also gave me a sense of personal peace as a working mother. Gabrielle Burton's 2009 memoir "Searching for Tamsen Donner" gave name to what I’ve been feeling for several years — a yearning to change the dynamics of husband-wife roles.
Until I read this book it never occurred to me that my own desire — to make married men whose wives work outside of the home more accountable in raising the family — may already be part of the Women’s Liberation Movement.
My husband and I more than once have said in jest that we need a wife. To me it is not a laughing matter, however. I REALLY could use some regular help. Animosity creeps in my relationship with my husband when I compare my workload to his. Sometimes the grocery shopping, meal preparation, laundry, housework, children's homework, setting and keeping doctor appointments, etc. overwhelm me, and I ask, "Why aren't husbands sharing equally in these tasks?"
Since hiring a “wife” — a housekeeper, personal assistant, nanny, cook, etc.— is out of the question, I believe sharing half of the responsibilities of raising our family with my husband would make ME happy.
It seems right. I believe ...
Then I realize that there’s a guilt that accompanies my idea, like my loyalties would be divided. If I were to relinquish some of my duties, I would be going against something that all of the women in my family have had to endure for decades. I also cower because my husband does help with some of the chores and the children, and I appreciate that.
So for a while I put it out of my mind. But it always resurfaces.
Our foremothers were expected to carry the burdens of the home and children, while their husbands labored outside of the home. It was hard work then and it is hard work now, for women — especially women who now work outside of the home. Times have changed.
In mid-1977, five years after being introduced to the Donner Party's famed heroine Tamsen Donner, Burton and her family set out on a six-week cross-country trip tracing the path of Tamsen. Burton had become obsessed with Tamsen, making parallels between her life and Tamsen’s. Tamsen was mother to five daughters (three were her husband George’s daughters from his first marriage). Burton and her husband Roger have five daughters.
During that summer and the years that followed Burton's writing trip (that never materialized into a Donner-related book until now) she takes us through a “personal odyssey,” telling how her children’s needs threatened to swallow her, reliving the guilt and personal conflict associated with wanting to have an identity other than a mother and wife. She struggled to be both a writer and a mother "and vice versa, giving equal weight to both, as men do."
Burton, unlike me, quickly identified her dilemma and joined the Women's Movement. She became filled with knowledge and inspiration about what could be.
Burton, in her book, says that women are still fighting the same battles as 35 years ago. "We're still the only industrialized nation not to have government child care; most employers haven't changed to accommodate their workers; and though fathers are doing more parenting, for the most part the bulk still falls on the mothers, employed outside the home or not."
Somewhere along the way, the dynamics of Burton's family's roles changed.
“Roger and my daughters allowed me to be a writer. I don’t mean that they gave me permission, I mean they didn’t consume all my time with their demands … the nicest husbands and children will eat you up alive if you offer yourself on the plate, and they’ll ask for second,” Burton said.
I don’t know yet what I will do with my discovery made through my preoccupation with the Donner Party.
At least I am feeling some peace about my idea — peace knowing that at least one other woman has struggled with the same feelings and survived.
Will I join a women’s lib group? Will I make my husband read this blog and will it make any difference?
For now I think I'll just keep on blogging and reading — my rewards.
Burton has a just-published novel that I am currently reading called "Impatient With Desire," which is written from Tamsen Donner's point of view.
And like I did.
Since then I've been quietly drawn to this group of American pioneers who set out for California in a wagon train. Having had no memory of this event in U.S. history class, I became engrossed in the story of the Donner Party's ill-fated journey West, particularly the women and children. I mourned those who perished and rejoiced that anyone survived. And still I can’t get over the fact that this all happened in 1846-47 - less than 175 years ago! This is history, yet so near to us.
Earlier this year, via National Public Radio's Book Notes, I happened upon another book, which filled me with more information about the Donner Party, and also gave me a sense of personal peace as a working mother. Gabrielle Burton's 2009 memoir "Searching for Tamsen Donner" gave name to what I’ve been feeling for several years — a yearning to change the dynamics of husband-wife roles.
Until I read this book it never occurred to me that my own desire — to make married men whose wives work outside of the home more accountable in raising the family — may already be part of the Women’s Liberation Movement.
My husband and I more than once have said in jest that we need a wife. To me it is not a laughing matter, however. I REALLY could use some regular help. Animosity creeps in my relationship with my husband when I compare my workload to his. Sometimes the grocery shopping, meal preparation, laundry, housework, children's homework, setting and keeping doctor appointments, etc. overwhelm me, and I ask, "Why aren't husbands sharing equally in these tasks?"
Since hiring a “wife” — a housekeeper, personal assistant, nanny, cook, etc.— is out of the question, I believe sharing half of the responsibilities of raising our family with my husband would make ME happy.
It seems right. I believe ...
Then I realize that there’s a guilt that accompanies my idea, like my loyalties would be divided. If I were to relinquish some of my duties, I would be going against something that all of the women in my family have had to endure for decades. I also cower because my husband does help with some of the chores and the children, and I appreciate that.
So for a while I put it out of my mind. But it always resurfaces.
Our foremothers were expected to carry the burdens of the home and children, while their husbands labored outside of the home. It was hard work then and it is hard work now, for women — especially women who now work outside of the home. Times have changed.
In mid-1977, five years after being introduced to the Donner Party's famed heroine Tamsen Donner, Burton and her family set out on a six-week cross-country trip tracing the path of Tamsen. Burton had become obsessed with Tamsen, making parallels between her life and Tamsen’s. Tamsen was mother to five daughters (three were her husband George’s daughters from his first marriage). Burton and her husband Roger have five daughters.
During that summer and the years that followed Burton's writing trip (that never materialized into a Donner-related book until now) she takes us through a “personal odyssey,” telling how her children’s needs threatened to swallow her, reliving the guilt and personal conflict associated with wanting to have an identity other than a mother and wife. She struggled to be both a writer and a mother "and vice versa, giving equal weight to both, as men do."
Burton, unlike me, quickly identified her dilemma and joined the Women's Movement. She became filled with knowledge and inspiration about what could be.
Burton, in her book, says that women are still fighting the same battles as 35 years ago. "We're still the only industrialized nation not to have government child care; most employers haven't changed to accommodate their workers; and though fathers are doing more parenting, for the most part the bulk still falls on the mothers, employed outside the home or not."
Somewhere along the way, the dynamics of Burton's family's roles changed.
“Roger and my daughters allowed me to be a writer. I don’t mean that they gave me permission, I mean they didn’t consume all my time with their demands … the nicest husbands and children will eat you up alive if you offer yourself on the plate, and they’ll ask for second,” Burton said.
I don’t know yet what I will do with my discovery made through my preoccupation with the Donner Party.
At least I am feeling some peace about my idea — peace knowing that at least one other woman has struggled with the same feelings and survived.
Will I join a women’s lib group? Will I make my husband read this blog and will it make any difference?
For now I think I'll just keep on blogging and reading — my rewards.
Burton has a just-published novel that I am currently reading called "Impatient With Desire," which is written from Tamsen Donner's point of view.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
An 8-year-old's Wish for 2011
I wish there was peace on Earth just like Heaven. No pollution. No devil. No harm. No madness. No revenge.
From superhero son's second-grade January Journal.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Shrinky Dinks for Webkinz
Shrinky Dinks, according to its website (shrinkydinks.com), first appeared in October 1973 and since has created and marketed more than 250 activity and craft kits.
Today the magic plastic comes in large sheets that fit in your ink jet printer, allowing digital or computer images to be recreated.
Shrinky Dinks shrink to about a third of their original size and become 9 times thicker.
I purchased a Shrinky Dinks kit from eBay after trying to find a creative and durable way to make personalized name tags for superhero son's Webkinz.
With some of his Christmas cash he bought Reindeer, which he aptly named Donner, the Barred Owl (Brownie), Tie Dyed Puppy (Rainbow) and an Apatosaurus (Rex) (see picture).
Upon receiving Owl in the mail, superhero son announced he wanted to put a name tag on the bird.
Brownie received a length of jute twine around his neck. Secured to that was a paper tag stating his name with crayon illustrations by superhero son.
This tag lasted about a day.
Next was another paper tag decorated by SS that I laminated and cut to size. SS was insistent that the tag be folded in half like a little book, so it was and then a hole was created using a paper punch and the tag was attached to the twine.
That tag lasted about a week.
During a comprehensive search online to find a solution to SS's tag dilemma, I ran across the Shrinky Dinks and had to sell the idea to SS since he was insistent the tag had to fold like a book.
I simply told him these tags would be better.
Together we watched the Shrinky Dinks curl, shrink and then flatten in the oven. Excited to touch the tags we both burned our fingertips! LOL (not badly)
To complete the project, I purchased toy dog pet collars and attached the Shrinky Dinks tags to the collars.
Now SS's Webkinz have real, personalized name tags.
SS loves the Shrinky Dinks! And so do I.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Unbelievable photograph from 1948
You’ve heard stories about fate, destiny, serendipity, coincidence, etc. Well here's another one.
Last week I received a gift from my 84-year-old grandmother. It is an old photograph with these words written on the back: “Santa Claus on the Caldwell
Sandra Ellen was my mother.
She is pictured in the front, holding her mother, my grandmother Janice Ilene Day Watson’s hand. Grandmother Watson is 22 in this photograph. She looks so happy.
What’s so special about this photograph, which I did not know existed until I received, is that my father also is pictured in it with his mother.
Fred McDonald is in the back, center of the photo being held in his mother, my grandmother Ruth Frances DeVol McDonald’s arms. Dad was 3 years old in this picture and Grandmother McDonald was 28.
I’m still in awe of this photo, which I think was published in the Caldwell
It is the split-second creation of an image of two complete strangers during Christmastime 1948 viewed by their offspring 62 years later.
It would be a decade and several more years from 1948 until Sandra and Fred and their families would meet, and everyone would share in much joy and then sorrow in a short amount of time.
It is the split-second creation of an image of two complete strangers during Christmastime 1948 viewed by their offspring 62 years later.
It would be a decade and several more years from 1948 until Sandra and Fred and their families would meet, and everyone would share in much joy and then sorrow in a short amount of time.
Fast-forward to Dec. 20, 1965 – the day Sandra gave birth to her and Fred’s baby daughter – Lisa Lee McDonald – that’s me!
Grandmother Watson tucked two other vintage photos in my birthday card this year. One is of my parents on their wedding day in May 1965, and the other is of me and my parents on Easter morning 1967 at the farm. My mother is ill in the latter photograph, suffering from leukemia. Sandra Ellen Watson McDonald left this world in October 1967.
Thank you Grandmother for sharing with me a glimpse of our past through these wonderful photographs.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
O Christmas Tree!
O Christmas Tree!
Last night we put up our Christmas tree. This year the whole family helped rearrange furniture, bring the tree up from the basement, set it up, put on the lights and decorate it.
And it was good.
We ended the evening by watching one of my favorite holiday films, “Elf,” and I laughed. We all laughed.
I took a lot of pictures of the tree this year and of many, many special ornaments.
From 1971 until the late 1980s, I received an ornament from my grandmother or mother, and these are the ornaments I put on my very first tree and the ones I still hang on our tree every year.
Every year I tell the boys how old I was when I received the ornament.
The first one I received, in 1971, when I had just turned 6 years old, remains my favorite today.
It is a handmade ornament of blue velvet, blue stones and pearls around a satin ball. My late grandmother made it.
Another favorite is a ceramic snowman my mother purchased in 1975, when I was 10. She signed and dated the back, which means more to me than the ornament itself.
A simple snowflake dated 1978, when I was 13, came from Hallmark, which now sells millions of ornaments every year. It was purchased by my grandmother.
The list goes on.
Thank goodness my mother had the foresight to make my siblings and me a list of the ornaments we received, who bought them or made them, and a date, as some of them are without original packaging.
Because I have so enjoyed all of my ornaments, I started buying one or two each year for each of my sons so that when they set up house they will have a box full to share with their families.
This summer Will, who most often accompanied me to yard sales, found a beautiful porcelain angel ornament at one. It had been hanging on a peg rack since that warm day and he found it last night and made me take a picture of it on the tree.
This summer Will, who most often accompanied me to yard sales, found a beautiful porcelain angel ornament at one. It had been hanging on a peg rack since that warm day and he found it last night and made me take a picture of it on the tree.
Every year the boys want to put their own ornaments on the tree.
We have all taken ownership of the tree with our ornaments and memories of Christmas past.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, You give us so much pleasure!
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